July 2012
14 posts
2 tags
Re: Interesting Article, by Marisa Carroll {The...
Dad,
Thanks so much for your most recent email! It’s been awhile since we’ve last spoken (no hard feelings, it was White Sox season, I know), so I can hardly express how great it was to see your name in my inbox, especially once I saw the subject line.
“Interesting article,” eh? I’m still chuckling over that “Is Feminism Over?” op-ed you sent when I declared my Women’s Studies major as well as...
3 tags
I Am the Intern Who Reads All of Your Mocking...
I’m trying here. I’m really trying. I go to business school, I keep up with stocks, I spent my January food money on a new suit from Men’s Wearhouse that I’m required to wear for all of my presentations in classes. Give me a break.
I want to be a businessman. A mogul. My name is Brian, and I am the intern who reads all of your mocking tweets at the official Taco Bell Twitter account.
I get it. I...
3 tags
How Sushi Are You? by Anonymous. {SWMG)
Sushi (adj) – Someone who is A-MAZING, possesses all of the qualities of what is stereotypically jappy, but is not necessarily Jewish. Obviously, this person LOVES sushi. You don’t have to be female to be sushi, but you almost certainly have a direct relationship with a member/ thousands of members of the Sushi 12 Conference:
UPenn Cornell Emory Michigan Wisconsin Indiana BU Wash U Syracuse GW...
2 tags
2 tags
My Attempts at Sexting, by Jilly Gagnon. {The...
My boyfriend recently informed me that I might be approaching this “sexting” trend wrong. I’m not sure if I agree. See what you think:
SMS Message sent 5:18 PM Just wanted to remind you that we have penciled in “maybe some sex” for later tonight. Get excited.
SMS Message sent 5:30 PM Thought a sexy picture might get you in the mood.
SMS Message sent 5:32 PM Sorry, that was actually a funny...
2 tags
Index Magazine Interviews Fran Lebowitz, by...
DAVID: So, in the spirit of Halloween, tell me your most vivid Halloween memory.
FRAN: You mean my childhood memories? I was very interested in Halloween as a child. I have no interest in it as an adult, which I think is appropriate. DAVID: Dressing up and all that?
FRAN: Even having fun, I find, is not adult. I used to plan the entire neighborhood’s costumes. One year I organized...
2 tags
An Open Letter to Every Woman Who Lives, Laughs,...
Dear Girls who Live, Laugh, Love,
Tell me how it happened. I must know. Were you walking through the mall one day, and something in a home and furniture store caught your eye? It was a bronze picture frame, wasn’t it? It was classic, antique-y, very Martha Stewart; not something she’d feature in her magazine, but maybe something she would keep on the screen porch of her beach house in Maine. You...
3 tags
My Imaginary Wet Hot American Summer, by Elissa...
Even though I’m Jewish, I never went to summer camp. A popular girl in the sixth grade called me “Pizza Legs,” because of my purple spider veins and red splotches and moles—bright, textured flaws that looked like pizza toppings on pale skin. During a pool party, I refused to get in a swimsuit, and a different popular girl called me a lesbian. What did a lesbian look like, I wondered. I guess they...
4 tags
2 tags
Thy Neighbor's Duplex, by Sloane Crosley. {The New...
Recently, when I was in Austin, Tex., I drove by a house with a helipad.
Rather, I drove under the private footbridge that connected an estate to the lakeside helipad on the opposite side of the road. I couldn’t shake the fantasy afterward that one could only cross that footbridge in black tie, fresh from a benefit in Dallas and holding one’s heels, lest they get caught in the walkway’s steel...
4 tags
America, A Review, by Megan Amram. {Megan Amram}
How to begin this review? Few countries that debuted in the 1700s have been as controversial or long running (it’s into its 236th season now) as America. It may not have the staying power of perennial favorites such as China or the credibility of indie darlings such as Finland, but America has proven that it can at least make some cultural impact. It’s not the best, but hey, they can’t all...
4 tags
A Mother's Prayer for Her Daughter, by Tina Fey....
First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.
May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the the Beauty.
When the Crystal Meth is offered,
May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half
And stick with Beer.
Guide her, protect her
When...
1 tag
1 tag
Ineffective Lines for the Modern Internet Persona,...
“My Klout score is an 83, which makes me a Thought Leader. There’s a lot of pressure to stay relevant and forward thinking, when you’re that influential. A few sub-par tweets and I could be downgraded to Specialist. I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with being a Specialist… you’re not a Specialist, are you?”
- - -
“I know you’re a complete stranger, but I’d gladly waste one of my Spotify...
