Discussion points for members who have not read this month’s book:
1. Studying the cover of this month’s selection may provide hints to the reasons that Margy MacDougal chose this book for your group. What does the metallic font used for the title convey—pretension, or insecurity? Although the cover art is minimal, what tensions does it suggest are lurking under the superficially glossy surface of Margy’s relationship with her husband, Eric?
2. In your opinion, is this book fiction or nonfiction? Support your view with examples taken from the jacket copy.
3. Last year, Margy was in Costa Rica when the group discussed the book she had chosen. Why did she get to pick two books this season? Why were both of them so grim? Is there a subtext related to Margy’s daughter’s deferral from Colgate? Could next month’s book maybe be more cheerful, for once?
Ladyfaces, kindly submit. These posts don’t have to be new, they can be funny bits and pieces you’ve emailed to your friends or shown to your doorman. Or, they can be pieces of your own. When submitting, please send to email@example.com. If the piece is not original, include a link to where you found it. We aren’t any Winona’s around here.
The other day while sounding out the words on a Web site called The Rumpus, I saw this article asking for women to submit more comedy pieces. So I put down my giant chocolate bar, stopped crying, and thought, yes, that is what I will do.
I will write a comedy piece. But just as I sat down in my bay window (filled with pillows that I knitted myself while waiting by the phone for potential husbands to call) and opened my pink Mac laptop, I happened to see a lady walking down the street with a baby of her very own.
So then I started crying again because I don’t have a baby. I cried big rolling tears that fell down onto my “Mrs. Stamos” T-shirt that I purchased off of eBay and photographed myself in for my eHarmony profile. I always say, “Dress for the job you want,” and the job I want is being Mrs. John Stamos! So, once my shirt was soaked, I had to go change it. I walked into my closet, which is gigantic because women love to wear lots of expensive clothes and shoes all the time, and I thought, “I know what will make me feel better! I will feel better if I try on all my clothes and shoes to the tune of an upbeat Motown song such as ‘My Girl.’”
A few years ago, I sat down for a meeting with some executives at a movie studio that I will call Thinkscope Visioncloud. Thinkscope Visioncloud had put out several of my favorite movies, and they wanted to see if I had any feature ideas. I was very excited. I have a great job writing for “The Office,” but, really, all television writers do is dream of one day writing movies. I’ll put it this way: At the Oscars the most famous person in the room is, like, Angelina Jolie.
At the Emmys the huge exciting celebrity is Bethenny Frankel. You get what I mean. It’s snobby and grossly aspirational, but it’s true.
The junior executives’ office at Thinkscope Visioncloud was nicer than any room within a fifty-mile radius of the “Office” studio. After I finished pitching one of my ideas for a low-budget romantic comedy, I was met with silence. One of the execs sheepishly looked at the other execs. He finally said, “Yeah, but we’re really trying to focus on movies about board games. People really seem to respond to those.”
For the rest of the meeting, we talked about whether there was any potential in a movie called “Yahtzee!” I made some polite suggestions and left. I am always surprised at what movie studios think people will want to see. I’m even more surprised at how often they are correct.
Based on what I’ve learned from my time in Hollywood, the following titles are my best guess as to what may soon be coming to a theatre near you:
“Apples to Apples 4D” (The audience is pummelled with apples at the end of the movie.)
“Sharks vs. Volcanoes”
“King Tut vs. King Kong”
“Streptococcus vs. Candidiasis” (Strep Throat vs. Yeast Infection)
“Street Stupid” (“Street Smart” sequel)
“The Untitled Liam Neeson Vendetta Project”
“Human Quilt” (horror movie)
“The Cute Bear from Those Toilet-Paper Ads Movie”