June 2012
21 posts
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Seeing Nora Everywhere, by Lena Dunham. {The New...
“This Is My Life” is the movie that made me want to make movies. I first saw it in second grade, so I wouldn’t have articulated it as such, but that’s what was going on. I must have watched it on VHS eleven or twelve times in one summer, trying hard to grasp something. About its characters? About its construction? On each viewing, a new joke or angle revealed itself to me and its world became...
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The Six Stages of E-Mail, by Nora Ephron, an...
In this essay from her book, I Remember Nothing, Nora Ephron details the joys, struggles, and pitfalls of 21st-century communication.
Stage One: Infatuation
I just got email! I can’t believe it! It’s so great! Here’s my handle. Write me. Who said letter-writing was dead? Were they ever wrong. I’m writing letters like crazy for the first time in years. I come home and...
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An Open Letter to the Guys Who Kicked The Soccer...
Dear Guys Who Kicked the Soccer Ball Over the Fence and Asked Me to Toss It Back to Them, Thus Scarring Me For Life,
I’d like to talk to you about the two minutes of sheer humiliation you subjected me to last night. Let me first refresh your memory: You, a group of fit, young men, were playing soccer on the AstroTurf field across from my apartment building. I, a better-than-average looking young...
A Reprint of Adam Carolla's New York Post...
Adam Carolla recently sat down with the New York Post. Here is a full transcript of his interview.*
NYP: While working construction in LA, you once had to talk down a guy with a gun. What went through your mind?
AC: Unless you’re rich, life isn’t really worth living. Now that I have money and my life is full of wonderful things – unlike other people, people who are not rich, or people who are...
Romantic Comedies Not So Secretly Based Off 90's...
Let’s get real, world. There are only two major problems we face today: an unrelenting nostalgia for the 1990s and a lack of decent romantic comedies. I’ve got you covered here with my suggestions for Romantic Comedies Not So Secretly Based Off 90’s One-Hit Wonders.
One of Us, starring Katherine Heigl as Joan and Ryan Reynolds as The Stranger on the Bus/ Secretly God/Nick. He’s just a normal...
Rob Delaney: Funny Women {Post from a Guy} →
robdelaney:
The New York Post published an interview with Adam Carolla on Sunday in which he said, among other things, “dudes are funnier than chicks,” and, regarding writing for television, “they make you hire a certain number of chicks, and they’re always the least funny on the writing staff.”
I disagree,…
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I Got a Fever (and the Only Prescription is Hot...
It began as all good stories do: with waves of energy coasting up the body from thigh to neck, gradually flowing back and forth until the change in temperature was palpable. I became light-headed and weak. I had a 104 fever. The excitement surrounding this discovery can be boiled down to a few lines: “Can we bring you in the morning? It’s 2am and not a good time to drive.”...
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Drunk Texts From Famous Authors, by Jessie Gaynor....
See the full cartoons here.
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A Person with Severe Social Anxiety Imagines What...
You! Rebecca Victoria O’Neal! I’ve just seen you trip on the sidewalk, confirming a long-held suspicion that you are a Bad Person with Whom I’d Never Hang Out.
You don’t know me, but 100% of our friends are mutual. In confidence, when people who meet rigorous criteria to which you will never be privy are present, it is often said how abnormal you are and that my life is greatly improved for never...
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Brett Ratner's Notes for His Film Version of The...
Possibilities to play the father/son duo:
Brad Pitt and Maddox Jolie-Pitt. If so, have them ride around on ATVs instead of walking. Walking is boring.
Will Smith and Jaden Smith. Loved them together in Pursuit of Happyness. Maybe talk to Will about doing a hot soundtrack. Would Will’s wife play movie wife? Remember to ask. Also, in book, wife is dead. Rewrite this. Have her be alive and like...
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Dear Future Boyfriend, by Meg Snyder. {GAF...
Dear Future Boyfriend, Hey man. It’s me, Meg. Sorry this isn’t coming in the form of a text or tweet, but I’ve got some explaining to do and it’s going to take more than 140 characters to say everything. No, I haven’t done anything wrong (I mean, come on. Seriously?), but there are a few things you should know before we commit to what will surely be an interesting relationship. First of all,...
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Bring It, by Lisa K. Friedman. {Huffington Post}
We started doing P90X years ago when trainer Tony Horton came to Capitol Hill to whip Congress into shape. P90X is an exercise program for masochists and fitness enthusiasts for whom reasonable physical conditioning is not enough. For those bored with the gym, with Bowflex, with Pilates, for those who have run marathons, biked the Death Ride or conquered ice climbing, P90X is for you.
We fell...
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HyperLink(edIn), by Meredith Fineman. {GAF}
Last week, I committed what some would refer to as a social media snafu. It didn’t really involve finally allowing my Mom to be my Facebook friend (which I did, so that she could properly stalk me, as opposed to solely wondering who Megan Amram was on the Twitter machine or phoning my father), it happened with the “adult” social media platform, LinkedIn.
I love LinkedIn,...
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Follow GAF on Twitter. Or Don't. This is spam. →
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Memo From the CEO, by Patricia Marx. {The New...
It is with deep regret that we inform you of certain cost-cutting measures that will be taken in the coming days so that we can remain competitive. But first some good news. We are happy to report that Bring Your Child to Work Day has been renamed Bring Your Child to Do Work Day. We hope you will contribute unstintingly to the Gummy Bears Overtime Fund.
Now for the harsh realities. We will no...
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Corrections to Last Night's Party, by Melanie...
Any baked goods that seemed especially sticky or shiny or just off in some indefinable way were actually store-bought and gluten-free, not “homemade with extra butter.” They were on sale. The “low-fat, organic” corn chips were from a soon-to-expire bag of Fritos discovered near the back of the pantry five minutes before you arrived.
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The blonde woman who spent half an hour flipping...
